Doubts
by Jo
Summary: Another of Rachel's and Tobias' night talks. This is my first HR fic so be nice!


Rachel looked out her window, waiting for Tobias. He had said that he would stop by, he had said that he needed to talk to her about something. Rachel knew what he was talking about. Their relationship was a slow, quiet one…normally. But recently, things had been moving faster. And Rachel didn't like that. She always wanted to know what was going on, what was happening. It wasn't like that with her and Tobias' relationship.

One moment Rachel was ready to face facts, that Tobias was a bird and they could never have a real relationship. But then, if he flew overhead or he said hi to her during school, she felt hope that he would trap himself in human morph and then there was that irritating feeling that she had been feeling recently…love? No, Rachel knew that wasn't right. She was too young to fall in love (her mother had told her that many, _many_ times) 

But the way that she felt when he was around, the feeling that he understood her that he didn't judge her by the way she looked, like the other boys did. Rachel knew that she cared for Tobias, and that he cared for her. But-

Rachel's thoughts were cut off by the red-tailed hawk that flew into her bedroom. 

"Hey, Tobias."

Hey Rach. Tobais morphed to human, he had been doing that recently. It was almost as if he were ashamed by his hawk body. Soon though he was human, and looked a more than a little uncomfortable. 

"So, Tobais, what did you need to talk to me about?" Tobias sucked in a sharp breath. He had hoped that Rachel wouldn't be that blunt, that she would have given him time to get comfortable. Because what he had to say was important. 

"Well," Tobias said, clearing his throat, "Actually, its about you telling me to get trapped as a human." That caught Rachel of guard. 

"What about it?" Rachel suddenly felt that absurd hope swell up in her again. Maybe he was going to do it! Maybe-

"I want you to stop." Rachel briefly closed her eyes, feeling disappointed. She was about to talk when Tobais went on, "I mean, I want to be human. But you know I can't give up on this fight. And I know you have a problem with it, but you can't ask me to do something I can't do."

Rachel was suddenly angry, what right does he have to tell her to stop doing something? "What are you talking about, Tobias? I only mention it once in a while. Plus, I mean, come on! I lo..care about you and I want to have a relationship. But I also need normalcy! I can't live like this, one moment I'm killing Hork-Bajir and the next I'm studying fungus in science! I need to have something stable to hold on to." Rachel had said these words before. She saw Tobias narrow his eyes, never a good sign. Tobais rarely got mad, and never at her. But whenever he was really mad he would narrow his eyes. 

"Normalcy!! You want to talk about normalcy? My Dad was killed in a car crash when I was 10 months old, then my Mom left when I was one. I was shipped between aunts, uncles, and any other relative that happened to show up. Then, while at my loving uncles house, I meet daddy Elfangor. Soon after I get trapped in morph, something that makes even Marco shut up. Now I have to deal with you telling me that I have a choice about fighting for the human race. I think I win the weirdness award Rachel." Rachel was shocked, Tobias had never yelled at her before, although she probably deserved it once in a while. 

"I..I mean," Rachel couldn't find her voice, and the anger had evaporated. And she didn't know what to say. But then she did something for maybe the fifth time her life…Rachel cried. She slowly sat down on the floor sobbing. Tobias looked down at her with his mouth hanging open. This was something new, he had expected her to hit him, not to cry. 

Tobias bent down and put his arms around her, stroking her hair, trying to comfort her. Rachel calmed down in a few minutes and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes, "I'm sorry Tobias. I just wish sometimes that…" Her head dropped, feeling guilty about what she was going to say. 

"That I was totally human." Tobias said, finishing her sentence for her. He lifted her head so he could look into her blue eyes. "Rachel I can't do that, not yet. When this war is over, yeah of course. But not now…" Tobais let his voice drift off.

"I understand," Rachel said, her voice barley above a whisper, "More the reason to me to fight this war, huh?"

Tobias smiled down her, "Yeah, but Rachel?"

"What?"

"We don't always have to be a bizarre couple," And he kissed her. It was a kiss that left them both feeling something they had been doubting for a long time…love.


End file.
